Emotional Regulation
Victoria BC
Are your mood swings preventing you from enjoying life?
If you are like most people, you have experienced intense emotions like anxiety, sadness, or anger at some point in your life. While these emotions are natural, they can sometimes become so overwhelming that they can negatively impact your daily life. Fortunately, there are several techniques that can help you manage these emotions and improve your well-being. I will share one such technique: cognitive reappraisal.
Understanding Negative Emotion Feedback Loops
When you experience intense negative emotions, you may find that your thinking becomes one-note, focused solely on the negative situation. This results in a kind of tunnel vision, where the only thoughts that occur to your mind end up fueling your emotions even more. This negative feedback loop can lead to chronic emotional distress, or ruin your day.
What is Cognitive Reappraisal?
Cognitive reappraisal is a powerful technique that helps modulate overwhelming emotions. It involves recognizing the negative pattern your thoughts have fallen into and changing it to one that is more effective. Changing your thoughts or how you're making sense of things can change your emotions, turning down the intensity a few notches. Simply put, different thoughts, can lead to different emotions.
An Example of Cognitive Reappraisal
Imagine you make a mistake writing out a contract at work and end up not being able to make an important deadline. Your first response may be to get frustrated and angry, which could ruin your relationship with your co-workers. Instead of getting caught up in this cycle of negative emotions, take a moment to consider another perspective. For instance:
• “I always mess up paperwork, Am I not smart enough to do this job?”
• “I am letting the team down, everyone is now disappointed in me.”
• “My trainer should have explained this better to me, it’s their fault!”
While these different perspectives may bring up different emotions, they are all potentially valid perspectives. Some may be a bit extreme, but they are not out-and-out irrational. It is possible to take an alternative perspective that is more effective in helping you feel more balanced. Consider the following reappraisals:
• “This gives me an opportunity to rethink my systems on how I approach writing contracts.”
• “Admitting this to my team will show that it’s okay to make mistakes, and they will be met with empathy from me when they do.”
• “I can make a suggestion to add more modules surrounding contract work for the training protocol.”
These new thoughts allow other ways of making sense of the situation to coexist with the more emotionally triggering appraisal, helping you keep a lid on your level of distress. You can add some nuance to your thoughts, adding different viewpoints, and thinking in a way that keeps you balanced.
Taking Action
Cognitive reappraisal is an effective technique that can help you manage intense negative emotions. By recognizing the negative pattern your thoughts have fallen into and changing it to a more effective one, you can change your emotions and improve your well-being. The next time you find yourself caught up in a negative emotion feedback loop, consider a few cognitive reappraisals of the situation and notice the difference. This is just one technique of many that can be helpful in regulating your emotional state.